I’m convinced that fish were part of the one-third of angels that fell with satan. Why would anyone have those disgusting little demon creatures in their home with access to their children? They’re slimy, creepy, smelly, and have beady little eyes that watch you wherever you go.
Take heed: the fish apocalypse will come. And in those days, how terrible it will be for pregnant or nursing mothers. But those who stand firm until the end will be saved!* (Sorry. I just finished reading the gospels. Can ya tell? ;) )
*This message was brought to you by The Foundation for a Better Life