The Mission: Fear number 5: get my license.The problem: Hello, my name is Lizzie, and I’m a terrified driver.
Well, they say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. I tried to find out what the phobia for driving is, because I’m pretty sure I’m just another year short of having it. But I couldn’t find one.
I can find anything from the fear of gravity to the fear of phobias, but I can’t find the fear of driving? Am I really so alone in this fear that they didn’t even need to make up a name for it?! Well, that sucks. I have to admit, finding out there are more people with the fear of gravity than there are with the fear of driving was pretty dang discouraging, but then I found this website: www.overcomefearofdriving.org, and this one, www.fearofdriving.net, and this one: www.drivingfear.net. So I felt better. The fear of driving may not have a name, but it does have websites! That makes it legit.
Now, before anyone gets all concerned about me and tries to put me on Dr. Phil or something, I am exaggerating a little. It’s not really a full-blown phobia. I do drive. I have my permit. But I have to say, it is pretty seriously ingrained.
In the spirit of confession, I’ll just get it all out there: I’m nineteen, and don’t have my license. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel pathetic and embarrassed about it. Out of all my fears so far, this one runs the deepest. It’s a suffocating, all-encompassing, ruining-my-life-fear. Do you have any of those? If you do, then you know what I’m talking about. Out of all my fears, it’s the most embarrassing for me to talk about and the hardest to be honest about. But what did I go and do like a dummy in the very first post here on The Fear List? I promised to be honest. So as much as I wouldn’t like you to know, there it is: I have a secret fear of driving.
…Then again, I guess it’s not so secret. But I wish it was.
For most people, it’s fun. I hate it. I don’t really know what scares me most about it, but I think it’s the fact that I could hurt myself or someone else on the road. I mean, think about it… I’m the girl who was kind of clumsy at directing a horse. What about a whole car? I know it’s ridiculous. I know I have to get over it. Thus, the reason it’s here on The Fear List. I’m going to conquer it.
“About time,” some of you sneer. To you, I say in the nicest, most Christian way I can, “Shut up.”
That’s been something fun I’ve experienced. People and their raised eyebrows. Really, does it concern you that I don’t drive yet? Do you really need to heap humiliation atop my already heaping pile of humiliation by making me feel bad? (Imagine a stuffy British accent for the following sentence.) “Oh. Really? You don’t drive? Why on earth not?” I realize these people mean the best. That I’m quite the anomaly, and my life would be so much better if I drove. But, if you please, allow me this fault. If I knew how to change it, I’d be doing it.
The Solution: Well, I guess it’s pretty obvious. I have to drive. A lot. Then drive some more. The only way to defeat a fear is to face it. So the next couple of weeks I will be driving, then documenting how it went on here, then driving, documenting, driving, etc. Not necessarily in that order. I beg your patience, readers, because I really don’t know how long this one is going to take. Until it gets conquered, you’ll be hearing a lot about what to you is probably ordinary, every day life. For me, it will mean much more. I can’t wait until this one gets thrown into the trash where it belongs!
What You as a Reader can do:
1) Well, if you know me (and most of you do), please don’t be condescending.
2) The next time you see me, please don’t begin the conversation with: “Did you get your license yet?” (Just as a tip, that’s a sore subject with me. Probably won’t get us off to a good start.)
3) Pray for this non-driving heathen!
Well, I guess that’s all for now. Whew. No wonder Catholicism is such a popular religion. Confession rocks!