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Posts Tagged ‘funny’

Just as a reminder, the first Phobia of the Week (POW) Competition ends tonight. If you have a joke for Siderophobia: the fear of stars, you’ll need to get it in to me right away. I’ve only received one entry so far, so if you’ve been sitting on a funny line, send it in so we can have a real competition on our hands!

Once more, here are the details: Email your joke to thefearlist@hotmail.com, with “POW Competition I” in the subject line. If you title it any other way, it will most likely not be read and accidentally end up in my junk mail. If you have already sent me your entry with another title, please re-send it with the correct one so I can consider it.

Include your first and last name along with the entry, unless you would prefer to be known with only your first name. Again, the competition ends tonight.

I look forward to reading your entries, and make sure to come back and check out the winning entry tomorrow!

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Batrachophobia: This is the fear of amphibians.

Have you ever struggled with telling the difference between an amphibian and a reptile? Have you spent years in school purposely forgetting? Are you tired of using Google search?

Then do we have the product for you! For just the small price of $500 every day of your life, your Batrachophobe Buddy* can be yours, now! Here’s how it works: simply call our number at 1-800-981-2254, and we’ll send you your very own, risk-free, Batrachophobe Buddy!  Take your Batrachophobe Buddy with you anywhere- to the park, school, or even college! When you’re studying for that next big exam, just place your textbook within viewpoint of your Batrachophobe Buddy, and he/she will do the rest! If it’s an amphibian they see, they’ll flee!  If it’s a reptile, they’ll stay for a while! You’ll never have to wonder again! Once more, our number is 1-800-981-2254! 1-800-981-2254! 1-800-981-2254! Call now! Or now! Or Now! Or, now…

…Please call.

*Some food, housing, and/or therapy required.

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A humorous way of looking at fear by comedian Chonda Pierce. Make sure to stay tuned until the end. She has a great message to share!

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Even though they don’t know it yet, the other cooks in my family are in a face off. They are involved in an epic battle that will distinguish baking from cooking, tasty from delicious, and women from girls. This battle will be a battle for the centuries. It is the always dreaded, always challenging, FEARFUL FOOD FACE OFF.

Not really. But it was a wonderful alliteration, don’t you think?

It’s only fearful because it made it onto The List at spot number four: Bring a few things of my own for Thanksgiving dinner. Of course, hypothetically speaking, what’s wrong with a little competition? Naturally, I would be going into it as the underdog. Having never brought anything of my own for Thanksgiving and with very little experience in the kitchen, one might assume an almost automatic disqualification. But, hypothetically, what if I were to triumph in a grand display of underdog power never seen since the likes of Susan Boyle stepping onto the stage?

What? It could happen. I literally cooked for about six hours today. I made bread rolls, yummy macaroni and cheese, and delectable pumpkin cheesecake. And, if I may say so myself-they were fearfully and wonderfully made.

If I were in a hypothetical competition, what might my hypothetical competition look like? Theoretically, of course, let’s take a look:

No Nonsense Nana: As the supreme matriarch of the family, No Nonsense Nana is the projected winner and all-around favorite for this holiday season. With over twenty five years of experience in the kitchen, she might just be the hardest to take down.

The Aunt Attack: Though somewhat unassuming, don’t let this capable cook fool you! The Aunt Attack has proven herself worthy time and again in the kitchen, and has won her name for her signature move: the coming up from behind in a silent attack. She could be the one to beat.

Mighty Mom: Mighty mom has had a love for baking since she was a teenager. While she has always been a good cook, lately she’s upped her game by watching Food Network. With new moves from last year, she could be a real contender.

No Nonsense Nana will be pulling out all the stops this year with a Turducken. The Aunt Attack is planning on bringing her A game with homemade rolls. Mighty Mom is bringing a lot to the table (pun intended) with the classic green bean casserole, apple pistachio salad, and pumpkin pie. Lookout! Lizzie (*ahem*, me) will be one to look out for (weren’t expecting that, were ya?) with her Herbed Monkey Bread, paprika-infused Macaroni and Cheese, and Pumpkin Cheesecake.

Who will take home the win? Will it be the favorite? The sly and cunning Aunt Attack? The seasoned pro with new tricks up her sleeves? Or the unassuming rookie?

Make sure and check back later this week to find out! Hypothetically.

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Phobia of the Week #9

Bathmophobia: This phobia refers to the fear of stairs or steep slopes.

And you thought all those people that used the elevator were just lazy! *Pshaw.*

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