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Archive for December, 2010

Batrachophobia: This is the fear of amphibians.

Have you ever struggled with telling the difference between an amphibian and a reptile? Have you spent years in school purposely forgetting? Are you tired of using Google search?

Then do we have the product for you! For just the small price of $500 every day of your life, your Batrachophobe Buddy* can be yours, now! Here’s how it works: simply call our number at 1-800-981-2254, and we’ll send you your very own, risk-free, Batrachophobe Buddy!  Take your Batrachophobe Buddy with you anywhere- to the park, school, or even college! When you’re studying for that next big exam, just place your textbook within viewpoint of your Batrachophobe Buddy, and he/she will do the rest! If it’s an amphibian they see, they’ll flee!  If it’s a reptile, they’ll stay for a while! You’ll never have to wonder again! Once more, our number is 1-800-981-2254! 1-800-981-2254! 1-800-981-2254! Call now! Or now! Or Now! Or, now…

…Please call.

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Peladophobia: This is the fear of bald people.

I wonder if this phobia means just for those people who are all-out bald, or also for those people with that little wreath of hair around the ears?

I’m guessing that time when Britney went haywire was a terrifying couple of months for these poor sufferers.

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The Mission: Fear number 5: get my license.

This is not me. Just so you know. But she looks how I feel, so she'll do.

The problem: Hello, my name is Lizzie, and I’m a terrified driver.

Well, they say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. I tried to find out what the phobia for driving is, because I’m pretty sure I’m just another year short of having it. But I couldn’t find one. 

Wait, what?

I can find anything from the fear of gravity to the fear of phobias, but I can’t find the fear of driving? Am I really so alone in this fear that they didn’t even need to make up a name for it?! Well, that sucks. I have to admit, finding out  there are more people with the fear of gravity than there are with the fear of driving was pretty dang discouraging, but then I found this website: www.overcomefearofdriving.org, and this one, www.fearofdriving.net, and this one: www.drivingfear.net. So I felt better. The fear of driving may not have a name, but it does have websites! That makes it legit.

Now, before anyone gets all concerned about me and tries to put me on Dr. Phil or something, I am exaggerating a little. It’s not really a full-blown phobia. I do drive. I have my permit. But I have to say, it is pretty seriously ingrained.

 In the spirit of confession, I’ll just get it all out there: I’m nineteen, and don’t have my license. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel pathetic and embarrassed about it. Out of all my fears so far, this one runs the deepest. It’s a suffocating, all-encompassing, ruining-my-life-fear. Do you have any of those? If you do, then you know what I’m talking about. Out of all my fears, it’s the most embarrassing for me to talk about and the hardest to be honest about. But what did I go and do like a dummy in the very first post here on The Fear List? I promised to be honest. So as much as I wouldn’t like you to know, there it is: I have a secret fear of driving. 

…Then again, I guess it’s not so secret. But I wish it was.

For most people, it’s fun. I hate it. I don’t really know what scares me most about it, but I think it’s the fact that I could hurt myself or someone else on the road. I mean, think about it… I’m the girl who was kind of clumsy at directing a horse. What about a whole car? I know it’s ridiculous. I know I have to get over it. Thus, the reason it’s here on The Fear List. I’m going to conquer it.

“About time,” some of you sneer. To you, I say in the nicest, most Christian way I can, “Shut up.”

That’s been something fun I’ve experienced. People and their raised eyebrows. Really, does it concern you that I don’t drive yet? Do you really need to heap humiliation atop my already heaping pile of humiliation by making me feel bad? (Imagine a stuffy British accent for the following sentence.) “Oh. Really? You don’t drive? Why on earth not?”  I realize these people mean the best. That I’m quite the anomaly, and my life would be so much better if I drove. But, if you please, allow me this fault. If I knew how to change it, I’d be doing it.

The Solution: Well, I guess it’s pretty obvious. I have to drive. A lot. Then drive some more. The only way to defeat a fear is to  face it. So the next couple of weeks I will be driving, then documenting how it went on here, then driving, documenting, driving, etc. Not necessarily in that order. I beg your patience, readers, because I really don’t know how long this one is going to take. Until it gets conquered, you’ll be hearing a lot about what to you is probably ordinary, every day life. For me, it will mean much more. I can’t wait until this one gets thrown into the trash where it belongs!

What You as a Reader can do:

1) Well, if you know me (and most of you do), please don’t be condescending.

2) The next time you see me, please don’t begin the conversation with: “Did you get your license yet?” (Just as a tip, that’s a sore subject with me. Probably won’t get us off to a good start.)

3) Pray for this non-driving heathen!

Well, I guess that’s all for now. Whew. No wonder Catholicism is such a popular religion. Confession rocks!

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Phobia of the Week #12

Just when you thought you’d seen it all, I found:

Phobophobia: A phobophobe suffers from the fear of phobias.

Wait, what? Hm. Yeah, that’s different.

But if a phobophobe suffers from the fear of phobias, and phobophobia is a phobia, then wouldn’t a phobophobe be scared of themselves because they have that phobia? Ahh. Enough said. My head hurts.

P.S. To my regular readers, I’m sorry my posts have been fewer. Next week should show some improvement.

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Your Turn #5

If you weren’t too scared to try it, what’s something you’d like to do?

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Barophobia: Barophobia means the fear of gravity.

I really don’t know what to say about this one. Just-where do these people live?

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A humorous way of looking at fear by comedian Chonda Pierce. Make sure to stay tuned until the end. She has a great message to share!

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