The Dreaded Driver’s Test-Day 12

Well, readers, it’s finally happening! Tomorrow I go in to take the dreaded driver’s test. How did this happen, you ask? I have no idea. I’m just as surprised as you are.

On Saturday I asked my dad to schedule the test in about two weeks’ time. Next thing I know, I’m scheduled for Monday morning at 10:00. My dad says he’s hard of hearing, but sometimes I think it’s more like selective hearing. Not only is it scheduled for tomorrow, but the man didn’t even have the decency to make it in the afternoon. It’s first. Thing. Tomorrow.

My emotions right now are all over the place. I’m scared, nervous, excited, worried, many things! In some ways, I feel ready. In other ways, not so much. I’m most worried about panicking tomorrow and doing something stupid I wouldn’t normally because that terrifying driving instructor will be sitting there judging me, just waiting for me to make a wrong move. But I can’t think about that! I’m doing my best to remain positive.

It’s exciting (albeit nerve-wracking) to finally have the end in sight. Just think-tomorrow, I could have my license! If I get my license tomorrow, the biggest hurdle has been jumped. I will be so relieved. I’m ready to get this done and over with, so I don’t have to worry about it any longer.

Luckily for me, my little sister also recently took her driver’s test with the same driving instructor (yes, my little sister did get her license before me), so she knew both the route and the things I’d be tested on. So this evening her, my dad, and I went through the exact same route my sister went on to get her license (praise the Lord for her brilliant memory!) I went through it about four times, so I’m feeling a lot more confident and ready than I did before. I’m just praying the driving instructor doesn’t change up the course for some reason.

Ten minutes! I just have to survive ten minutes of driving.

Once we went through it a few times, I felt much more comfortable and calm. If the driving instructor sticks to that route, and as long as I don’t panic, I should be okay. For some reason I had trouble parking today, so hopefully that won’t become an issue.

Tomorrow we’re getting there a little early so I can run through it one more time, and then it’s showtime!

When it comes right down to it, I know I can do this. I think I’m ready. I feel like now is a good time to take the test. Winter is coming, and I definitely don’t want to take the test in the winter. I said I’d get my license before the end of this year, and I will have it by the end of this year! Oh, how wonderful it will feel to have that burden lifted! For this worry to disappear!

But there’s a couple of things I need to make sure and do: 1) I need to focus on God, and not my fear.

Ooo, that one is such a biggie. With all my fears, that’s been the biggest issue: I see and feel the fear, but I never enter in the God-factor. And the God-factor is a big one. Readers, if I get my license tomorrow, I will know better than anyone that getting it was not because of anything I did. Instead, it will be God’s grace, peace, and strength alone. Because all I am in this area of my life is weak and inadequate. I’ve already spent all my resources and strength on this. I need His strength to show up for me tomorrow, or I’m a goner.

Left to myself, I know exactly how I’d react: I’d shiver and tremble (literally. It’s happened to me many times), get sick to my stomach (again, literally), spend the whole day fretting and most likely have a moment of panic. But I am not going to be alone. And I know my God is faithful, that He is on my side, and that He has a peace that surpasses all understanding. Trust me, I will be relying on that peace tomorrow!

Another thing I need to do is 2) Believe His promises.

I have eyes, but I don’t always see. I have ears, but I don’t always hear. I hear and see God’s promises to me in the Bible, but I need to claim them for my own and believe them. One of them I’m claiming for tomorrow is Philippians 4:13: “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Even pass a driver’s test. And, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26.) For a long time, getting my license and overcoming my fear of driving has looked impossible. But tomorrow I will see it become possible! Another great one is, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6.) And finally, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10.)

Finally, I need to 3) Remain positive.

I’ve had such a negative attitude towards driving, and only recently have I realized how much of one and how much it was holding me back. Never once did I imagine myself getting it right; instead, I expected the worst. Hardly ever did I look at what I’d done right-instead, I looked at all I’d done wrong. Never once did I look at driving with excitement-instead, I dreaded the prospect. Tomorrow I’m going to remember all the benefits I will gain from driving, and look forward, not behind! God can and will bring about a miracle, and what joy for me to be able to share how God’s strength showed up in my weakness! His light in my darkness, and His hope in my despair. Yes, God can work a mighty miracle, and I’ll be asking Him too.

Will you join with me in that prayer? Please, please, please pray:

1) First and foremost, that I pass the test! There’s no way I’m doing this again, haha.

2) That God will give me confidence in my abilties, His abilites, the peace that surpasses all understanding, and a calm of mind and heart.

3) That if the instructor changes up the course, I will be able to adapt quickly and know what to do.

4) That I will have a positive attitude and have fun!

Thank you so much for your support-I know I will feel those prayers, and know that when you pray, you will be fighting a spiritual war on my behalf! Thanks so much.

Well, that’s all for now! I hope to return again as soon as I can tomorrow with some good news!

I praise you in advance, Lord, for all you have done and will do.

May the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit,

Lizzie

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Phobia of the Week #57

Amathophobia: Amathophobia refers to the fear of dust.

Yeah, I’m sure the invisible floating particles have it out for you.

Maybe you should take a self-defense class. Haha, no, no-get a concealed carry permit! Or better yet, hire a bodyguard! Ooo, I know: buy a dust cloth! Hahahaha.

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Guest Post: God is on Our Side

Today The Fear List is thrilled to welcome Grace Fox: author of Moving From Fear to Freedom. Grace first approached me about guest posting, and once I learned that she also wrote on the topic of fear, I couldn’t believe my luck! I’ve been blessed in numerous ways already by reading the few things she’s sent me. Grace has many insights and tips when it comes to fear, so make sure to check out her many resources at www.gracefox.com. To learn more about her or her book, check out her interview here: http://wp.me/p132LV-nB

And now, I give you Grace!

God is on Our Side

By Grace Fox

About a month ago, I listened to two different radio interviews. Both hosts wanted to discuss fear. How timely, considering that it was the tenth anniversary of 9/11 and media had splashed the word fear across radio and TV for several days beforehand.

I’ve personally felt fear sneak up on me several times in the last couple of weeks. Not in relation to 9/11, but in other ways. First, a cousin’s 2-year-old granddaughter was diagnosed with a brain tumor and underwent surgery. Her family still awaits the pathology report.

Second, the 26-year-old daughter of a local Romanian pastor/friend was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer.

Third, a 3-year-old boy in BC was abducted from his home while he slept. Having friends who live in that community, and being a grandma with grandchildren the same age, my heart raced each time I thought about the little tyke and what he might be experiencing. (Thankfully he was returned unharmed, although his kidnapper remains at large).

My list contained a couple other situations that I’m not free to discuss, but they, too, rattled my nerves and threatened to topple me into a dark pit. In each case, the moment I felt fear encroach, I turned my thoughts to prayer for the well-being of the precious people involved.

I also trained my mind to praise God for who He is—a God who is sovereign, faithful, wise, able to provide, and filled with unfailing love. That was no easy feat; it took great effort to succeed when my emotions tugged me the opposite direction. But guess what happened when I made the deliberate effort to praise? My fears calmed. Whadaya know? They did exactly what Psalm 56:9 says: “My enemies will retreat when I call to you for help.”

I’d be amiss if I failed to mention the latter half of that verse, for it offers huge encouragement in the face of fearful circumstances. It says, “This I know: God is on my side!” These five little words carry the power to transform our minds and perspective. Imagine…God is on our side. That truth means we can always, always rise above whatever we face.

What are you facing today? If fear or uncertainty are stalking you, call these words to mind and reflect on their power: God is on my side. See the difference they make?

—————–

Grace Fox lives in Abbotsford, BC. She’s the author of four books, a DVD-based Bible study, and hundreds of articles published in magazines including Focus on the Family and Power for Living. She’s also a popular speaker at international women’s events and the national co-director of International Messengers Canada, a mission agency that promotes creative short-term and career service opportunities in Eastern Europe.

www.facebook.com/gracefox.author

www.gracefox.com

　

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Phobia of the Week #56

Basophobia: This is the fear of the inability to stand.

Hahaha.

Oh, you’re serious? Let me help ya out:

Step One: 

From a seated position, push away from your buttocks and against floor with feet until you are in a vertical position. Then… yeah. That’s pretty much it. When you’re done, you should look like this: 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Step Two: 

For any problems, refer back to Step One. Repeat.

Step Three: 

You’ve fallen and can’t get up. Consider seeking medical attention.

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Interview With Author Grace Fox

Today I am extremely excited to feature an interview with author and speaker Grace Fox! Author of Moving from Fear to Freedom: A Woman’s Guide to Peace in Every Situation, I jumped at the chance to have Grace on as a guest writer. In her interview you’ll learn more about her book, as well as practical ways you can overcome fear in your own life. You won’t want to miss the many insights she has, so stop by her website as well at www.gracefox.com.

Please check back next Monday for a special guest post from Grace, and keep a lookout for my review of Moving from Fear to Freedom.

And now, here’s Grace!

Moving from Fear to Freedom:

A Woman-to-Woman Conversation

Has fear kept you awake at night? Has it hindered you from saying yes to a new opportunity? Has it caused you to make impulsive choices you later regretted? If so, you’re not alone!

Fear is a big deal for many women. If left unchecked, it can prevent us from fulfilling God’s purpose for our lives. So, what’s the answer? How can we move beyond fear into freedom?

Grace Fox, author of four books including Moving from Fear to Freedom: A Woman’s Guide to Peace in Every Situation, shares the answers in her newly released DVD and study guide titled Moving from Fear to Freedom: A Woman-to-Woman Conversation.

Q: Fear seems to be an ever-present theme throughout the Bible. Describe the difference between healthy and unhealthy fear.

A: Healthy fear steers us toward wise decisions and actions. It promotes self-preservation. For example, we look both ways before crossing the street for fear of getting hit by a car. In contrast, unhealthy fear hinders our ability to fully embrace life. It causes sleeplessness, steals our peace, and can literally make us sick.

Q: How does destructive fear stunt our emotional or spiritual growth?

A: Destructive fear—the fear of rejection, for instance—might keep us from admitting to someone that we’ve been physically or sexually abused. Without receiving the help we need to deal with those issues, we never experience freedom. Our struggles might seriously hamper our ability to truly love and receive love in a marital relationship.This is just one example among many of how our emotional growth is affected.

Spiritually, fear can cause us to say no to God-given dreams or assignments because we’re afraid of personal inadequacy or financial insecurity. If we never step out in faith, then we never experience God’s ability to equip and provide in amazing ways. Spiritual growth comes when we say yes to God and “do it afraid.”

Q: Your small group resource contains seven sessions. The first is an overview of fear. The next six look at six key areas where women face their greatest fears. What are these? And what was the top fear women expressed?

A: The top fear expressed was the fear for our family’s well-being. I can relate to that! The other five sessions discuss the following specific fears:

fear of personal inadequacy

fear of rejection

fear of facing the ghosts of our past

fear of the storms of life

fear of an unknown future

Q: You faced a frightening situation with your newborn daughter. Tell us about that. How did you overcome your fear for her well-being?

A: My husband and I lived in Nepal for nearly three years in the 80s. Our second child was born there with hydrocephalus (too much water on the brain). She needed immediate surgery to relieve pressure from her brain, but that surgery was unavailable in Nepal. That meant an immediate return to North America. Trouble was, the international airlines refused to issue me a ticket because I’d had a Caesarean delivery and was now considered a medical high risk. As a result, my husband took our baby back to North America when she was three days old. I remained in Kathmandu not knowing whether she’d be alive when I returned six days later.

How did I deal with my fear for her well-being? I cried out to God for help. He answered with the lyrics of the hymn, “Great is Thy Faithfulness.” Those lyrics didn’t promise that everything would be fine, but they reminded me of God’s promise to be faithful no matter what. I let those lyrics wash through my mind, and as they did, they calmed my fears. That’s the shortened version of the story!

Q: You suggest we need to place our focus on God and not on fear. In practical terms, how do we do this?

A: Several strategies that I’ve found helpful…

Write Scripture promises on 3×5 cards and post them where we see them often. Readers can visit my website for a free downloadable of Scriptures about overcoming fear.

www.gracefox.com

Memorize Scripture promises and meditate on them throughout the day and as we fall asleep at night. We are transformed as our mind is renewed.

Fill our homes with praise and worship music.

Spend time in God’s word on a regular basis, not just when we’re in a panic. The more we do so, the more familiar we become with His promises and the better prepared we are to face our fear-filled circumstances when they come.

Talk to the Lord throughout the day. Invite Him into the mundane. Practice His presence. The more we get to know Him, the more we’re able to trust Him in the face of fear.

Q: Most of us feel inadequate at times. You suggest we cannot use our inadequacies as an excuse for not participating with God’s purposes. How do we get past this?

A: We get past our fear of inadequacy by admitting we have it! Then we need to retrain our thinking to focus on God’s adequacies rather than our inadequacies.

Tell God how we feel. “Help! I don’t think I can do such-and-such!”

Tell a trusted friend and ask her to pray for us.

Move forward. Do it afraid and expect God to equip you.

Q: Where can I buy this study?

A:

Christian bookstores, www.amazon.com, www.christianbooks.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, www.winepressbooks.com, and my website: http://www.gracefox.com/books/moving-from-fear-to-freedom-a-woman-to-woman-conversation-guide/I offer group and ministry discounts.

———

Grace Fox lives in Abbotsford, BC. She’s the author of four books, a DVD-based Bible study, and hundreds of articles published in magazines including Focus on the Family and Power for Living. She’s also a popular speaker at international women’s events and the national co-director of International Messengers Canada, a mission agency that promotes creative short-term and career service opportunities in Eastern Europe.

www.facebook.com/gracefox.author

www.gracefox.com

　

　

　

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Phobia of the Week #55

Mnemophobia: This phobia refers to the fear of memories.

Hahaha. I just got a really funny image.

Some dude: “Hey, Bill, you remember that time-”

Bill: “Do not speak to me of remembering! I scorn memories. I loathe memories. I eat memories for breakfast!”

People. Come on.

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Weeding Out Fear Guest Post

Often in life tiny worries quickly get blown up until they are more than just possibilities, but reality. Being a worry-wart, I have done this many times.

One night my family and I noticed police cars scouring the road across from us as if they were searching for something—or someone. Since we live only a couple miles from a prison, it was a plausible theory.

As I prepared for bed, I passed my window and noticed the lights were on in our detached garage. This was unusual. I slowly crept closer, my heart beating faster. As I stared, I was sure I could see a man in a trench coat leaning against the side of our garage. You’re going to look really stupid if you’re wrong, so make sure, I warned myself. But he was there! I knew he was! Then he turned his head to look at me. I ducked, and ran to my parent’s room…

To read more, please visit http://www.gracefox.com/2011/10/14/weeding-out-fear-elizabeth-veldboom-worry-wart/, where I have the privilege of guest posting for author and speaker Grace Fox. Grace also writes on the topic of fear, so click around once you’re there! She has some tremendous resources.

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Shot of Courage #10: I See Courage in You

I See Courage in You

A woman who made a mistake,

Gave your body away, feeling like your heart will break.

So many dreams, plans you had in store,

But decide for your baby a chance at so much more.

Pressure from friends, “Just get an abortion,”

But choosing instead life and adoption.

Nothing left, you say you’re through,

But I see something called courage in you.

 

An alcoholic drowning life away,

Gets on his knees to pray.

Ashamed and disgusted with the man in the reflection,

Begging God to pardon this transgression.

Inadequate, and clumsy in life’s dance,

He decides again to give AA a chance.

Nothing left, you say you’re through,

But I see something called courage in you.

 

The singer tries just one more audition,

The producer says, “We’ll give you a listen.”

The rejection comes, they slam the door,

And the singer says, “I’ll try once more.”

Nothing left, you say you’re through,

But I see something called courage in you.

 

A shepherd boy playing his harp and singing,

Spending his days with sheep, and with his older brothers in the evening.

God said, “You may feel small and insignificant,

But to Goliath, you will be sent.

You may be doubtful this is true,

But I see something called courage in you.”

 

You may feel small, weak and afraid,

But on Jesus your burden has eternally been laid.

For courage is having fear, yet acting anyway,

And if I could, this would be my prayer for you today:

That after everything and all that you’ve been through,

You’ll see it all-the courage that I see in you.

　

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Phobia of the Week #54

Out of a grand total of one submission, congratulations to Nichole Parks! Great job, Nichole!

 

Vestiphobia: The fear of clothing.

 

Dear Mum and Dad, 

 

I have a confession, a bare naked truth. Telling you in person was not an option as I am socially outcasted, and the phone store has a stupid policy for walk-ins. Something about no shoes, no shirt, no service. Anyway, don’t think me a gorilla for this, but I’ve given up on clothes. Dressing is truly a time waster, and don’t get me started about the Laundromat. This frees my time up for vine-swinging. My instructor, Tarzan, feels the same way as I do regarding clothing. We’re really hitting it off. 

 

Love your daughter, 

Jane

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The Racetrack of Life-Day 11

 Goodness, how long has it been since I last updated on how my fear of driving has been going? Too long, I know that much.

Luckily, the “Day 11” in my title does not refer to how many times I’ve been driving, but rather only to the times I’ve documented driving. I’ve been able to keep a pretty steady pace up the last couple of weeks, and have driven at least once every week except for the last two weeks. Some weeks have been better, some not as great. Some weeks I’ve only gone once, others twice, a few three, and a few none at all.

I’m a little frustrated with myself that I haven’t been driving as much as I should. Most weeks I get the two days in, but I haven’t quite accomplished my new goal of driving three days a week. I’m kind of living the philosophy, “Something is better than nothing.”

I’m still just as determined to get my license before the end of this year. I don’t what I’d do if I get to end of this year and find I’m still not ready. I’m terrified of that being a possibility. It just can’t happen! I’ve had enough of this fear.

I am so very tired of being a burden to my family and friends because they have to get me from place to place. I’m tired of feeling ashamed and embarrassed. I’m tired of not being able to get to certain places because I can’t drive. Of missing out on opportunities, and not being as able to hang out with my friends. I’m tired of being afraid. Heck, I’m even tired about writing about being afraid! But most of all, I am tired of this being my reality. I’m ready for a new reality!

I feel like I come across as such a loser when I write these posts. Like a victim and someone to be pitied. But I also feel like that’s not who I am. Sure, I may have a more timid and shy personality, but I also feel as if I have a lot of strength. Sometimes I feel as if people don’t see that in me.

A couple of weeks ago I would have said with 100% certainty, I can beat this fear. I will have my license by the end of the year. I was doing so well. I was driving at least once every week, and things were just coming naturally for me. Driving! Was coming naturally! My dad was talking about me getting my license soon, the first time he’s ever said anything like that. I wasn’t afraid anymore as I drove-not even in town. A little nervous, but nothing like how it used to be. I was actually kind of even enjoying driving!

But then I did something stupid again. And my confidence crashed.

I started becoming dependent on my dad once more, asking him things I already knew to do myself. Things I’d done countless times before. I was so frustrated and upset with myself. Why do I always revert back to that dependency? I’ve proven to myself that I can do things alone. That I am smart, strong, and capable. Then I do something stupid again to mess it all up, and I wonder, can I? Is it really in me?

I hate feeling so helpless. Especially when I know deep down that I’m not. How to hold onto that truth?

I’d had some new people in the car with me and though I thought I’d be fine, the pressure of what they were thinking of me overcame me. I started doing stupid things I wouldn’t normally. Then one of the people in the car said something disparaging. It wasn’t anything too awful, but I’ll admit, I can be a very sensitive soul. So then I let my emotions get the better of me, and I went right back to square one. I was right back exactly where I started. I relapsed into dependent stage, and completely tuned out of driver-world. Basically what ended up happening was that my dad had to jerk the wheel because I had zoned out mentally and didn’t realize which direction I was going.

It was miserable. It was pathetic. It was me on day one.

I’m not going to quit because of a silly incident like that-I’m no quitter. It’s just that once more, I’ve reached my breaking point. I’m doubtful I can get my license by the end of this year. After all, I’ve been going at it for months, and then just because of one comment I can do something dumb like that?

 Something so simple-something so easy and normal for other people-has been one of my biggest banes. That’s a tough pill for the pride to swallow.

Honestly, sometimes I wonder why I share this stuff. It’s actually pretty humiliating. But I keep on in the hopes that this will help someone out there. That someone struggling with something shameful of their own will find the courage to tell someone about it. To receive help. That someone will defeat their own fear, and realize they’re not alone.

The race isn’t over yet. I’m not giving up, as depressing as the text above might have sounded. I just started this blog with a vow of honesty, and that’s where I’m at. On the racetrack of life, I’m going for another round, hoping that this time I’ll find the exit instead of finding myself right back at the beginning.

One more lap.

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